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And now a message from our sponsors!

Do not take our word for it that Kremlin's figures are great, why not listen to what these well known historical characters have to say about them.

"Hi, I'm Comrade Uncle Joe Stalin, pin-up boy of the Red Peasants and Workers Army! I'm dead now, but if I weren't I'd be saying this: buy Kremlin figures or you will live out your life in a Siberian gulag having your teeth smashed out with a hammer, trust me on this they're purge-tastic!"

"Hello I'm Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen and inveterate soap dodger. If a recommendation from a complete nutter is what you need then look no further than me. I'm so mad I'd post fish through the mail. Buy Kremlin figures now or you will be poisoned, shot and thrown in a river."

"Guttentag, I am Chairman Mao you may remember reading my little red book. If you do not want me and the People's Liberation Army to come round and emancipate you from the tyranny of democratic self determination then buy Kremlin figures immediately."

"Hullo! I'm Karl Marx, a very important German. The Communist Manifesto clearly states that, in order to bring about ownership of the means of production by workers and peasants such as yourselves, it will first be necessary to purchase many of Kremlin's fine figures. Though why you would want to own Kremlin's poxy old casting machine escapes me."

Well comrades you have heard the testimonials from our expert witnesses as to the quality of our products. Who could dispute the collective wisdom of these eminent loons? Certainly not you!

Remember, buy now and Kremlin will promise to donate all our profits to the Party Chairman's retirement fund. What more worthy cause could there be than to help a befuddled old wargaming dipsomaniac see out his twilight years in modest comfort.

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